Finding balance

Finding balance is sometimes easier said than done.  Life always seems to get in the way, as does the opinions of others.  It is our reactions to those others that is the hardest lesson of all.

We need to follow our path and stay true to our deep seated beliefs.

Don’t make the mistake of following a path that someone else dictates for you.

I stand by all the statements made in my previous posts, but admit that peeling that onion took time, patience, and persistence.  In some ways my experience was like dying before I began to live again.  But, the end results were inner peace, a calmness that is felt by others, and contentment with everything and everyone, especially myself.

The reward was love—open, trusting, and unencumbered.  If I had not gone through the tough times of the past three years, I would not have truly learned how to feel, let along share those feelings.

When life becomes too painful to bear, my advice to you, my friends, is to stay true to your path.  Find the best in every situation, no matter how devastating it might seem at the time, because life is a series of lessons that come from all our experiences, both good and bad.  They are growing pains as we mature.  When the time is right, everything will fall into place in the most unexpected sort of ways.

Jim, I am truly thankful that you are now in my life.  I love you with every fiber of my being.  You have become my rock, my anchor and the person I can turn to when the harsh realities of this world come crashing through.

 Annie O

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Out of the Ashes

In June 2006, my world fell apart.  That family turmoil; foreseen in that initial reading came to a head.  The ultimate rejection came from trying to explain what was happening to me way too soon.  Unable to live with total physical and emotional rejection, I became separated from my husband, children and extended family.

With a broken heart, and lots of time on my hands, I put all my energy into understanding my so called “gift.”  Some of my findings are contained within the previous posts.  It was a long, arduous journey, but as understanding dawned, I put my gift to practical use and became a closet case healer.

At first my focus was on the environment, but I soon discovered that it entailed all aspects:  Earth—the planet, it’s atmosphere, the weather & pollution, the electromagnetic grid, water, rock, soil & vegetation along with the animal life which inhabits the planet (which I must point out includes people).

My retail farm business offered an opportunity to share it with my customers.  It was very rewarding to see the many interesting people who found their way to my stand.  Headaches & heart aches, broken, damaged and warn out limbs, people riddled with various forms of cancer & disease, along with people who lost spouses, pets and loved ones.  The list goes on.

I hugged many and cried with others.  Many came back time and again and have become good friends over the years, but only a select few ever knew what I really was.

I consider those years to be the best years of my life.  ’Twas a period of learning how to open my heart and give freely without expecting anything in return.  In fact, it has become a way of life, an every day philosophy.

In February 2009, it was time to come out of the closet.  I was comfortable living within my own skin, and wanted to put my gift to practical use.  My first step was to apply for a position in the health industry, and when I did, I put all my cards on the table.  I told them why I wanted the job—to help others with my gift.  Well, they were skeptical at first, but quickly came to understand there was something different about me.  What ever it was, it sure helped the people I worked with in palliative care.

For now, I am where I needed to be.

Annie O

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Love

If Faith is a way of life, Love must be a state of being.

In order to give and receive love, we must love ourselves first.  That does not mean that we put ourselves first, or are self-centered.  It means that we are comfortable living within our own skins.  We like who we are.  We trust and respect ourselves enough to follow our own path.

Once we’ve achieved this state of internal contentment/balance, we are equipped to share it.

Romantic love is a sharing of oneself.  If that union is both physical and spiritual, it will give without expecting anything in return and when it is truly reciprocated, it will become a little piece of heaven on Earth.

Spiritual Love is unconditional.  It is the alpha and the omega, a soul rendering union with the Powers that Be.  It is the catalyst that evokes change, brings profound understanding and manifests miracles.

Love is an action.

It is the core of our existence, always seeking a form of expression.  It is not confined to the rigid parameters of a box.  It is free and flexible, constantly growing and changing in its desire to express itself plutonically, romantically and spiritually.

Love is life’s most important gift.  Respect, honor and cherish each moment.

Annie O

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Faith

It has been stated within many world religions that “Faith can move a mountain.”

I agree wholeheartedly.

It starts with knowledge then progresses into wisdom when all that information is processed and put to practical use.  Faith then becomes the next step.  It is more than a belief.  It is a knowing, with every fiber of your being, that it will come to pass.  Like prayer, it is an action that must be rendered from the heart.

Faith is a way of life.

It resonates within our being with every beat of our heart, and with every breath we take.  Faith is a soul rendering unity with the Creator and through Him all of Creation.

Annie O

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Meditation / Time out

To sooth my tortured soul, meditation and time out became as important to me as the very air we breathe.  It assuaged my pain, revitalized my spirit and gave me the strength to go on.

Setting is crucial.

Start by finding a location where you will not be disturbed for at least twenty minutes.  If you are doing this at home, turn the ringer off on your phone and disconnect yourself from computers, cell phones, and hand-held items that will intrude on your solitude.  Dim the lights, maybe light a candle or several if the urge strikes you.

This is time meant for you, so pamper yourself.

Next, you need a comfortable place to sit.  It can be on the floor, on a cushion or in a chair, what ever makes you comfortable.  I don’t recommend a bed, unless you are doing this to relax before going to sleep, otherwise sleep will deprive you of finding that inner well of tranquility.

Now, close your eyes and tune into your biorhythmic pace.  Focus on your breathing—feel your lungs fill with air then empty out… With each inhalation drink in the calm, soothing energy and exhale your stress and worries until you feel your body relax.

Listen to the rhythmic thumping of your heart.  Feel the pulse of your blood as it flows through your veins to every cell in your body, nourishing, strengthening, healing and rejuvenating…

Open your senses.

Welcome the peace.

Savor the tranquility.

Recognize the omniscient energy that surrounds you.

You are not alone.

Your soul, the core of your being, is forever connected to the Godhead.

He is everything and everywhere all at the same time.

All you need to do is take time out and listen to His powerful silence.  Embrace it, and experience His unconditional love.

The more frequently you meditate, the easier it gets to find that inner calm.

Annie O

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“TIKKUN OLAM”

Tikkun Olam” is Hebrew, meaning “to heal the world” or “world healer.”  They are two words that are permanently entwined with my heart.

This “World” is defined as the planet we call Earth, and all facets of the ecosystem which include, the physical environment, the atmosphere, the electromagnetic grid, and all life forms: human, mammal, amphibian, aquatic and avian.

In the animal kingdom, it is survival of the fittest.  Animals at the top of the food chain will cleave out the weaker animals, keeping the kingdom strong in a natural cycle of life and death.  Native Indians and other pagan societies around the globe paid homage to father sky and mother earth, or an omniscient creator present in all things.  They took only what they needed in order to survive.  Although they were at the top of the food chain, they showed great respect for life and maintained the natural balance.

Today, that symmetry is gone.

Mankind is no longer happy with what they have.  Their greed has closed their eyes to the natural order as they plunder Earth’s recourses and fight for supremacy.  Man-made toxins have polluted our waterways, permeated the atmosphere and destroyed the ozone layer leaving us exposed to excessive amounts of ultra-violet radiation which in turn is slowly cooking the planet. 

We will all reap what we/they sow.

Chaos will prevail until the governments of this world respect one another and this planet that provides sustenance for all life.  It will take Devine intervention to forestall disaster, but out of this chaos a new age will dawn where people work together in love, peace and unity.

I, for one, believe in miracles, and to that end my gift will be used,
Annie O

Now, I must make a confession:  After my sister’s death, the reality of life became very harsh for me.  911 Happened.  The images of the plane flying into the tower and subsequent destruction were replayed over and over again on all the media stations with a frequency that numbed me to the very center of my being.  If that wasn’t bad enough, Bush went against the UN (An organization put into place to protect the welfare of other nations.) and started a war.  Again the media showed nothing but bombs falling from the sky…  I withdrew.  It was easier on my psyche to focus on the environment.  Then Katrina happened and tore my heart out again with all the pain and suffering.

People and the environment are interconnected, and I can’t choose one over the other.

This was the inspiration behind “Tikkun Olam,” and the second hardest lesson in my journey.  One I still struggle with each and every day.

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What is an Empath?

In my humble opinion, each being has the ability to empathize with another. It is the art of reading body language, expressing compassion for another’s pain and sharing in their excitement, or simply being sensitive to your surroundings.

However, a true empath does not need to be in a room of people to feel overwhelmed.  Just opening an e-mail, answering the phone, reading various postings or books, and even watching TV—especially the news—can be a challenge if the writer, speaker or content is emotionally charged.

I can only speak for myself, so keep this in mind.

I am first and foremost a healer.  It was not my choice to feel the emotions of others, but something that was bestowed upon me.  It has taken a long time to identify & understand, then learn how to manage, and that my friend is an ongoing endeavor.  Each day is new and different, as are the situations that I find myself in.

You see, I absorb energy, both good and bad.  Because of this, the first lesson for any empath is to learn how to shield.  I’ve tried to demonstrate this in two previous blog entries entitled: “Self preservation & protection” and “Blocking or Shielding.”

When I “feel” other people’s emotion it is not the same as empathy, and it is certainly not telepathy (the ability to read someone’s thoughts, although sometimes it seems that way).  “Feeling” for me is an immediate physical response to something that is not visible to the naked eye.  The sensations vary from a suffocating tightening of the chest or a chill that runs up my spine, to a happier tingling in my chest and warm fuzzy feelings.  I can become excited, hyper, and giddy or even burst into tears for no apparent reason.

As a healer, I made a conscious choice to remain open.  Each empathic sensation requires an immediate response.  I have, on several occasions, hugged total strangers because that is what was needed most.  Usually they burst into tears, and thank me when they’ve regained their composure.  Grief is one of the strongest emotions, and one that is harmful if not released.  When I encounter someone who is in need, my hands throb and my energy starts flowing.  My only conscious thought when this happens is to send out a stream of unconditional, omniscient, healing energy to where it is needed most.  If a name, or event, pops into my mind, I will fine tune the energy to flow in that direction.  When I encounter someone who is angry or full of malice, it becomes difficult to breath.  After locating the source, I either send calm, soothing positive energy or block it completely.  The response is instinctive, and demands immediate action.  The downside of this is the number of headaches I get when people walk through my aura, but the reward comes from knowing that I have helped the people around me who were in need.

It is not easy to be an Empath.  Like all things, there are good and bad aspects but I, for one, am comfortable living within my skin.

If you find yourself unusually susceptible the emotions of others, you can do one of two things.  Block it, or accept it as a gift and learn how to manage it.

Annie O

If you would lilke to discuss this topic further, or privatly, go to http://www.annobannon.com and contact Ann.

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My sister

Cathie was diagnosed with a virulent form of hepatitis C in 2003.  I didn’t find out about it until November of 2004.  When I saw her that Christmas, her appearance came as total shock.  She wasn’t just sick, she looked like a zombie—a walking skeleton with sunken eyes sockets and pasty yellow skin hanging off her bones.

During my visit, she sank into a state of liver coma and was rushed to the hospital.  They were able to reverse the toxicity of her body and bring her back, but the prognosis didn’t look good.  She needed a transplant, and she needed it right away.

I was tested and found to be a suitable match, but the doctors refused my offer.

Cathie was in such bad shape that they considered it too risky for both the donor and the recipient.  She needed a full liver, not the half portion that I could provide.  She was bumped up on the priority list for a full liver transplant, given a pager and told to pack her bags.

The call came in late January.  She was given a young, healthy liver.  The surgery was successful.  The hepatitis had been exterminated, and she was receiving the best of care.

She should have been well on her way to recovery, but that was not the case.

On April 2nd I had a life altering psychic reading.  Noralee said: My sister had two time lines—six weeks and six months.  It would be all up to her.

On May 12th, I received a call from my mother in PEI.  Cathie had aspirated on her feeding tube, and it didn’t look good.  She thought I should come quickly, so I jumped on the first available bus and headed to Halifax.

At that time I had only begun my journey and was still overwhelmed by the energy and emotions of others that were continually bombarding me.  I had not yet figured out how to shield properly, and I certainly hadn’t figured out how to utilize my so called gift of healing, but the motivation was certainly there.  What was the point of having such a gift if I could not use it to help my sister?

Not only did I receive a crash curse in blocking energy and wielding it to heal, I had to come to terms with the hardest lesson of all—I couldn’t heal my sister. It became painfully obvious that she didn’t want to be healed.

Cathie wasn’t listening to her doctors, she wasn’t eating, and after four months of starving herself, her body had withered away.  All her other organs were shutting down, and she had to go on dialysis.  There was naught I could do but massage her aching bones, and take away the superficial pain. This I could do because she had no tolerance for her physical discomfort, and really didn’t want to feel anything.  While doing that, I also infused her with calm, soothing, positive energy in the hopes of making a difference.

It was enough to break the cycle.

It wasn’t until I had returned to Ottawa, that I realized my trip to Halifax took place exactly six weeks after that psychic reading, giving it ominous credibility—six weeks and six months…

Cathie wanted to go home to Murray Harbor, PEI.  That was the one goal that she focused on, and she managed to return for a couple of weekends before she passed away that October of 2005.

Her life and death were tragic.

Ultimately it was all up to her.  She chose death over life.  I did not agree, nor did I understand at that time, but I did honor her decision.  It was a hard lesson to learn, and an even harder one to accept.

She will live on forever in my heart,

Annie O

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Blocking or Shielding

When my journey first began Nora Lee said that I needed to learn how to shield myself from negative energies, but before I could do that I needed to understand the energy itself.  All of my previous blog entries were steps along that path of discovery.  Each step took me closer to the source as the layers of anger, doubt, and resentment were peeled away, replaced by many wondrous discoveries until a state of internal balance was achieved.

It sounds like a walk in the garden, but I assure you it wasn’t.

Many times I tripped and fell.  Other times, external factors/forces impeded my process and had me chasing a school of red herrings.  Family turmoil pushed me to the limits, testing the very foundation of my faith while teaching me patience (an ongoing lesson). I was physically, spiritually and psychically attacked on several occasions.  “Hooks,” both spiritual and physical fed on my energy, inciting fear which very nearly knocked me off the path until I finally learned how to recognize, block, sever, and protect myself from them.

It all goes back to that power of positive thinking, cause and affect, the power of attraction and faith in the Powers that Be.  To dwell on the negative is like a snowball rolling down the side of a mountain.  It will get exponentially larger.  It is the same with anger and fear.  Both feed into the negative forces of darkness.

Ying and yang, good and bad, light and darkness—opposing forces.

Which path have you chosen to follow?

Remember, energy surrounds us.  It is everywhere and everything—it is omniscient.

One way to block out unwanted energy is to envision your self surrounded by bright light—divine energy that will reflect all misaligned energy.  Another away it is to picture your self sealed inside a bubble.  Make sure the bubble is beneath your feet, over your head & completely surrounding you.  Until you are comfortable with this concept, hand motions will help.

I had an empathic friend who was unable to use either one of these methods.  Because of the continual bombardment on her psyche, she became sick and hid herself away from most human interaction.  I suggested something different.  She was attached to a gnarled old tree in her back yard, so I suggested she picture herself within the trunk, protected by its bark and securely anchored by its roots.  I’m happy to report it worked.

Choose the medium that works for you.  Practice, practice, practice… With time, shielding unwanted energy will become as natural as the air you breathe.

The key remains a positive, loving mindset, and faith.

Annie O

For more information go to http://www.annobannon.com and contact Ann or e-mail her at annobannon @ rogers.com

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Self preservation & protection

With the realization that energy (both good and bad) surrounds us, comes the need to protect ourselves.

If you watch a group of people who are chatting, their body language also speaks.

When the conversation is fun and easy going there is a lot of hand movement, smiles and even friendly touching, but when the conversation turns aggressive, tense or heated the person on the receiving end will instinctually react.  If they’re standing, their arms will immediately crisscross their abdominal region.  If tensions are really bad, they will probably have their hands balled into fists and jammed beneath their arms, effectively blocking the antagonist by covering their “sacral chakra” while closing out their own energy at the same time.  If they had been sitting, their legs would also have been crossed.

These are natural forms of protection.

Trust your instincts,

Annie O

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